THE LAST BLOG POST FOR THE SEMESTER! Where did it go? It feels like yesterday was the first day and Bro Williams was explaining this blog assignment and I already dreaded the class. But man, this has been one of my favorite classes I've ever taken and I have learned so much about the family. 
This last post is going to e about Divorced & Blended families. Some of the divorce trends as to why it is so common in the US are:

• Easier today, than ever before in the past
• Individualism
• Americans marry more, therefore, divorce more

Some different outcomes for children of these divorced or blended families are as follows: psychological, less likely to graduate HS, less likely to go to college, more likely to have premarital sex, and more likely to experience divorce. The average divorce cost in 1998 was about $125,000 and this occurs within the first 5 yrs of marriage. 65% of divorces are initiated by women. It is so sad and crazy to see these statistics and all the affects that divorce and blended families can have on the children of these families. 
I understand that sometimes, for certain situations, divorce is the best option. For example, in class we discussed the 3 A's: Abuse, Adultery,or Abandonment. If your marriage isn't filled with any of these, I personally believe that the couple can and should work it out. If you file for divorce because the two of you "had a fight", welcome to marriage. Today's society, is filled with people who want the easy way out. Instead of working hard to keep the marriage together, they want to run away from their problems by signing a paper and paying some money. Marriage isn't a cakewalk and you can work things out if you really want to. But it takes effort and commitment 
Thanks for reading!
-Karly Buchanan 

The end is near! I'm happy, but then again, not so happy, because I have enjoyed this class SO much. I've learned a lot and I wish that everyone could take this class. It's an eye opener and if we all knew the concepts taught in this class, families all around the world could be better off. Anyways, the topic for this week is parenting! Here are a few purposes to parenting:

• growing experience(for both child and adult)
• raise children
• survival
• prepare children for the bigger community
• emotional coaches
• to protect and prepare to survive and to thrive in the world in which they will live

This last bullet point is my favorite! Parenting is a big responsibility and should not be take lightly. 
Next we discussed a problem-handling method. Notice how I used the word "handling" and not "solving." Sometimes you simply can't solve the problem but you can't just ignore it. Parent and child must work together to handle it. 
By the time your children are teens, the greatest influence can come from your relationship with that child. The first step in handling a problem is to ask, "Who owns the problem? & Who will it affect the most? This question isn't meant to through around blame or say who's fault it is, but simply who will the problem affect.
 If the child owns the problem, it's best to let the child learn from natural consequences. The only reasons a parent should step in, would be if 1. The natural consequences are too dangerous 2. too far in the future and 3. if they will affect someone else as well. 
If the parent has a problem with the child there are 4 step the parent can take. Start off with 1. A polite request 2. "I statement" (I'll explain below) 3. Firm request and 4. Logical consequences
An I statement goes as follows, "When you... I feel... because... I would like..." If you get to the point where you need to make a logical consequence, make sure that these are discussed in advance with your child, and that you follow through with that particular consequence. 
That's all I got for today. 
Thanks! Karly B. :)

This week our topic was Fathers & Finance, however the topic changed as we had a class discussion to working mothers. Some different possible effects of a working mother in the home included:

• Less emotionally available 
• Children may feel abandoned
• Less stability

It was interesting to learn that the crime/sex rate of teenagers increases when mom isn't around. 
There were also these two articles we read if you want to check them out. http://www.dennisprager.com/does-a-full-time-homemaker-swap-her-mind-for-a-mop/
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865587127/A-womans-education-is-not-wasted-in-the-home.html?pg=all
I loved reading these two articles and I found them quite empowering. I have always wanted to be a mom. I've always wanted to be a mom because of how great my mother was to me and my siblings. Ever since I was a little girl, I'd always play house and would love being the mom to all my dolls and animals. I've never looked down upon any woman who chooses to be a stay at home mom, because I've seen how much hard work my mother put into it. When money got a little tight around the house, my mom was able to step up and help out. She started as a substitute at our elementary school close by, then she eventually got hired for a permanent job in the front office. Although my mom had to go back to school online to get credentials to sub, she was ready to help out when we needed it most. My mom was so strong and was able to be a stay at home mom for almost 22 years before having to go to work. She has had one of the strongest impacts on me wanting to raise my children, but being prepared with a  college degree to help out my future family if necessary.


A homemaker can grow and develop by being involved with her children's lives. Always be willing to help them and teach them when they may need it. Make your home a fun learning environment for your children and try to get them excited about learning new things. Homemakers can always be prepared to help out her family if a crises ever occurs. If you haven't finished school, take online courses to finish your degree. This way you can keep an updated resume and have this as a backup plan for your family.  I think it's also important that we teach our children positive things about parenthood and don't treat them like a disappointment/burden. 

Lesson 9: Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

 *WORDS(14%)
 *TONE(35%)
+*NONVERBAL(BODY LANGUAGE)(51%)
HOW OUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE DECODED BY OTHERS

We also discussed how having councils can help families have less issues and reduce the chance of miscommunication occurring. We observed how the apostles of the church hold their councils and we noticed there was love expressed throughout the whole time. They appreciated God's will and would discuss and pray to know the Lord's will. We can use this council as an example of how to council in our own families. This week was pretty short. I didn't take many notes, but I learned a lot by stories and examples shared in class. 

Thanks for reading, 
Karly B. :)

This week the discussion was about Family Crises.
There are many stressors that can trigger family crises and these events can bring many issues into a family. Such stressors can be:

- Car accidents, moving, surgery, death, internal strife, cancer, natural disasters, major purchases, attempted suicide, divorce, gambling, job changes, loss of faith.

Some things that we discussed that strong families can do to prevent crises(or how to cope with crises) are:

• Eating dinner together
• Accepting each other
• Involving each other in important decisions
• Weekly family nights/outings
• Communication- explaining, self-disclosure about issues

We discussed an ABCX formula. 
 Actual event
 Both- resources and response
+Cognitions(the way you think about the event)
total eXperience

Ineffective ways of coping include: withdrawal, denial, drugs/alcohol

Bottom line, every family is going to go through trials. This is a part of life, and there aren't always ways to prevent bad things from happening. However, you can choose how to react the these crises. You have the power to let them destroy you and your family, or you can use thess crises to bring y'all together and closer than ever. Extended family and friends can play a major part in how you cope/heal from these trials so let them in and let them help you. Try not to push people away.

Thanks for reading!
Karly B. :)

- Hey guys, so this week we talked about sex & intimacy. I'm not gonna talk too much about that thought, because the people who read this, know how sex works. One thing that I found very helpful from class, is how to educate your children about sex. I will be doing this one day so I payed close attention to what was discussed. On lds.org, there is a parent's guide and throughout this guide there are different sections and chapters discussing the role of teaching your children about intimacy. I found it super interesting that there is a section for teaching infants and toddlers about this! At this age, children are discovering their bodies and gender roles. As parents, you can teach your children simply about modesty and how we should keep our private parts covered and only let our future husband/wife see them after we're married. This guide goes on and gives advice on what to talk about at which age and this can be found on this link https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng

We also discussed marriage infidelity and how a couple can prevent this. A major factor in preventing this is having boundaries. There has to be boundaries with your opposite gender friends after you're married. You shouldn't spend one one time with that friend and you have to be cautious of how much time and where you are meeting this friend. One on one time can lead to strong emotional connections/ attachments and these can be deadly to your marriage. Your spouse will possibly feel jealousy, comparison, and the two of you could become very distant. My teacher mentioned to be very cautious of social media and who you are still friends with after you're married. Any friends of the opposite sex should be approached with your spouse or not at all.

Thanks for reading, I'm no expert, just sharing what I've learned.
Karly B.

This week the topic is Transitions in Marriage. 

 Before marriage, there's some type of proposal (well at least we hope there is). In class we discussed the proposal and if it matters. In my opinion, I think the proposal definitely matters. It shows effort and commitment. It shows that there is a clear step/transition being made and not just  "going with the flow."
 During the engagement, or possibly even before the engagement, there should be discussion about the future, things such as: 

• Future jobs
• Future family
• Where you will live
• Roles
• And of course, THE WEDDING!

The average wedding cost in America is $27,000.
To me this is outrageous and you wonder where people get this kinda of money?

• Borrow the money, Loans
• Long-engagement, to work and save up
• Parents pay for everything(missed opportunity to show independence).
• And delaying marriage until you can afford it. 

Research shows that a low cost, low debt, wedding full of family and friends who love you are good predictors of a successful marriage. 
 Now we'll talk about adjustments that you make after marriage. You are now living with another person and this may be something you're not used to. Here are some adjustments couples make:

• Drawing boundaries with friends of the opposite sex
• Unclear expectations
• Financial priorities
• Power struggles
• Little things (snoring, sharing things, temperature, etc.)

If you have issues with something your spouse does, talk to them. Don't involve other people in your issues with your spouse. Like Adam and Eve, cleave unto each other and treat each other like they are the most important and precious thing on the Earth.  
Lastly, we'll discuss the "baby blues" and how having children is another transition in marriage. In the United States, marital satisfaction is known to decrease after having children and often doesn't increase until you have an empty nest again. There are many different reasons for this trend:

• Babies are loud, smelly, demanding, and needy
• While the mother is preoccupied with baby, husband is busy elsewhere (school, work, etc.).
• She thinks he doesn't care
• He feels left out
• She feels worn out
• He wonders if he'll ever get involved

When having children, it's super important that you make your husband feel important and involve him as much as you can. Take him with you to prenatal checkups and anticipate how you will share responsibilities. When in labor, get your husband involved in the delivery, not your mom. Girls normally want their mother there with her which is fine, but think about how much of a learning experience this could be for your husband and his bond with his child could start earlier. The transition from a happy marriage, two people loving each other deeply, to adding a new born baby, a needy, tiny, bundle of joy, can be a very tricky experience. However, if couples want their marriage to last, both the husband and wife are going to have to communicate with each other constantly and figure how they can balance both marital satisfaction and raising/ taking care of their child.

Thanks for reading,

Karly B.