This week the topic is Transitions in Marriage. 

 Before marriage, there's some type of proposal (well at least we hope there is). In class we discussed the proposal and if it matters. In my opinion, I think the proposal definitely matters. It shows effort and commitment. It shows that there is a clear step/transition being made and not just  "going with the flow."
 During the engagement, or possibly even before the engagement, there should be discussion about the future, things such as: 

• Future jobs
• Future family
• Where you will live
• Roles
• And of course, THE WEDDING!

The average wedding cost in America is $27,000.
To me this is outrageous and you wonder where people get this kinda of money?

• Borrow the money, Loans
• Long-engagement, to work and save up
• Parents pay for everything(missed opportunity to show independence).
• And delaying marriage until you can afford it. 

Research shows that a low cost, low debt, wedding full of family and friends who love you are good predictors of a successful marriage. 
 Now we'll talk about adjustments that you make after marriage. You are now living with another person and this may be something you're not used to. Here are some adjustments couples make:

• Drawing boundaries with friends of the opposite sex
• Unclear expectations
• Financial priorities
• Power struggles
• Little things (snoring, sharing things, temperature, etc.)

If you have issues with something your spouse does, talk to them. Don't involve other people in your issues with your spouse. Like Adam and Eve, cleave unto each other and treat each other like they are the most important and precious thing on the Earth.  
Lastly, we'll discuss the "baby blues" and how having children is another transition in marriage. In the United States, marital satisfaction is known to decrease after having children and often doesn't increase until you have an empty nest again. There are many different reasons for this trend:

• Babies are loud, smelly, demanding, and needy
• While the mother is preoccupied with baby, husband is busy elsewhere (school, work, etc.).
• She thinks he doesn't care
• He feels left out
• She feels worn out
• He wonders if he'll ever get involved

When having children, it's super important that you make your husband feel important and involve him as much as you can. Take him with you to prenatal checkups and anticipate how you will share responsibilities. When in labor, get your husband involved in the delivery, not your mom. Girls normally want their mother there with her which is fine, but think about how much of a learning experience this could be for your husband and his bond with his child could start earlier. The transition from a happy marriage, two people loving each other deeply, to adding a new born baby, a needy, tiny, bundle of joy, can be a very tricky experience. However, if couples want their marriage to last, both the husband and wife are going to have to communicate with each other constantly and figure how they can balance both marital satisfaction and raising/ taking care of their child.

Thanks for reading,

Karly B.